Honestly, I really miss my Sunway life...where I have a lovely society there. I miss central gathering and cell group badly...I am now in Indonesia, undergoing such a stagnant life...without any spiritual activities except Sunday mass..I feel something empty in my heart...may be some of you experience the same thing..but I do not know how to describe it further...Today
(3rd December 2009) I want to share a bit about today's Gospel....
Actually few weeks left since I read my daily Gospel, I don't know why but I just don't read it for a while though I am not busy here. My brain and my thinking only full of worries, yaa...I worry bout so many things...feel so much problem happen lately and make me far from God..I think...feel so emo, lonely, sad and empty. I worried bout my future, my relationship, my new chapter of life, my family, my surroundings.......All that things just cause me headache, give me so much pressure as problems everywhere...and I am alone here, I don't have friends to share and everyone also got his or her own doing.
But..last night, I went to bed quite early, around 9PM, I already jumped on my fluffy bed and when I wanted to turn off the light, I saw my daily Gospel book, my heart like ask me to open it...I grab it and start flip the pages till 3rd Dec....and here it is today's Gospel Mat 7:21,24-27 (I do not need to type the Gospel as I believe most of you have read it before starting your day).
What comes and really knock my brain is the reflection stated in my daily Gospel:
"Possibly we have watched a child, who is afraid of the water, jump off the side of the pool into the arms of a loving parent. What causes that child to jump? It is trust in the parent. Why does the child trust the parent? The parent has shown, through love, that he or she will not let anything bad happen to the child. We should have that child-like faith in God. It is not a blind, leave-your-brain-at-the-door type of trust or faith. God does not want us to check our brains at the door. He has given us plenty of proof, not only of His existence, but also of the truth of His word.
Do we trust God with the big things, like our eternal home, but not trust Him in the little things, like our jobs and finances? We must trust God in the little things as well as the big things. Do we believe that God cares enough about us to look after those things well? God has so much of His love for us, that is only reasonable to trust that He will take care of the little things in our lives"
After I read the reflection, I am stunt for a while...my tears drop one by one....I never experienced of flipping Bible and find a correct verse or something like that like those people who shares during the central gathering, but last night...after a while I live so called "far from God" without any spiritual life, after a while my brain full of worries, sadness and disappointment of myself.....I feel God just remind me that I do not need to worry so much..just trust Him....and all will be alright....
and at that time, I smiled, I put back my daily Gospel book, I turn off my light and pray my daily prayer before I sleep....in my prayer, I thank God that He remind me tonight and He brings me back, He take out all my worries, pressure and burdens,..I feel so happy and release....and I slept.......so peacefully and release....
This is the bus. :D
