"The ultimate purpose of dating is marriage"

My first encounter with or, uhmn, how I know about Christian courtship was about 3-4 years ago. I was infatuated with a friend who is a man of God (I can sense his head growing as large as a watermelon). I can’t remember how it went in detail, but I think I was asking him about his view on dating. He said the most shocking and horrifying thing! He said (I can still remember it word by word), “the ultimate purpose of dating is marriage.” I was still wild back then and haven’t experience conversion, so I cursed (silently of course). I thought, ‘wut da *beep*. Dating should be fun! Why be serious about it’. Later on I found out that dating IS serious, but can be fun as well.

Anyways, the guy was right. The ultimate and the only purpose of dating is marriage. So, no more ‘I like you, you like me, let’s go out and we’ll see where this relationship goes.’ NO! Harsh, I know. But, don’t you think dating is such a waste of time if we think that way? Don’t you think we will be spared from confusion, insecurities and not to mention heartaches, disappointments, and emptiness due to the lack of vision of the future and/ or failure of the relationship. Sure, most people we know got married after starting a relationship like this. But, have you ever counted how many times they have experience failed relationships before it?

Christian courtship, like the secular dating, starts with attraction. It may be a one or both sided attraction. Afterwards, discernment comes in. In a very simple explanation, Discernment is a process of internal search where we seek God’s will to determine the best decision. It involves a lot of prayer, meditation, reading God’s word, sharing about it with a trusted friend in faith and pray together, and most of all, being aware of the presence of the Holy Spirit and listen to His voice in with a surrendering heart. God, in His mysterious and intimate ways, will tell us His will.

Ah, you may say that I’m a nut case, but what is foolish to the world is pleasing to God (cf. 1 Corinthians 1 : 27). I tried it out last year. I was interested in a friend of mine because he showed true and sincere love for God and His Church. My kind of guy, I tell you. So I decided to discern about him. During discernment, I continue being friends with him. I tried to know him in a more personal level. There was no flirting whatsoever (so different to the bad ‘ol days). We shared about a lot of things, testify about God love, pray together, pray for each other should one of us need God’s strength. Days went by and feelings grew, however it didn’t grow towards the direction that I wanted. My love for him as a brother in Christ got stronger whereas my infatuation didn’t develop into love for a man. There was nothing wrong with him (or with myself). He was perfectly human and I accepted his flaws. But, in my heart, he was my brother and wouldn’t be more than that. Then I felt God had answered my prayer. I accepted this outcome even though I was a bit disappointed. Honestly, I wanted it to work so badly ‘cause I haven’t been in a relationship in a loooong long time. I was kindda desperate but I had no regrets. I thanked God for the feelings, the process and the outcome. I knew it was the best for the both of us. When the guy told me he fell for a girl (a lovely young woman, I must say), I was delighted although I felt a pang of jealousy (okay, I was VERY jealous). But, I continued being there for him as a sister in Christ. So, this is how I was assured that Christian courtship can work!

That’s about pre-courtship. How about during courtship? During courtship, it’s crucial to put Jesus Christ as the center of the relationship. Not the girl. Not the boy. Not me. Jesus alone. With Jesus at the centre, the problem of co-dependency is eliminated as each person is solely responsible for his/ her happiness and the source of his/ her happiness is Christ alone. Then, there’s sexual purity. A boundary is needed when it comes to physical expression of our feelings. We may say a kiss is just a kiss, but a kiss may weaken our will and strengthen the desire of our flesh. Another important thing is Communication. People get to know each other in a deep and personal level through communication. We’ll find out about each other’s strength & weakness, dreams & fear, vision& mission for the future, priorities, interests, etc, through communication. Some may be acceptable, some may not. Then, with constant prayers God will inform us, in His mysterious and unique way, whether the relationship should continue to the next step – Marriage. Even if a couple decides to not continue with the relationship, by God’s grace, they will not feel overly heartbroken about it. Beautiful isn’t it? I hope I’ll experience this in His time.

Bus Stop

The Last Supper!

Hey peeps! Didn't think it was already time for Lifeline to close for the year so soon! The year was awesome possums and I truly felt this year, the graces we received just overflowed our cups totally! Praise God! Even so, all good things come to an end but it does not mean that our ministry ends here. We continue to go forth in our mission fields as Good Catholic Christians enriched by the Word of God and empowered by the Body and Blood of Christ to evangelize the love of Jesus Christ.

So as we gather this Friday at 8.30pm at the STM Community Centre for our last central for the year, let us cuddle together in oohs and ahhs and laughter as we reminisce the good'ol times throughout the year. Here's a treat from 2006.

Lifeline back then. ;)

"My grace is enough for you; my great strength is revealed in weakness"

My Mission Trip Experience To Sabah
By Crisabel T. Tiu, Lifeline STM

When I heard that Potter and Clay program was having a mission trip to Sabah, I was really excited. I was excited because it was my hometown, the experience I could learn, the people we’ll be meeting and I had this feeling of satisfaction of finally being able to do something good for others and for the redemption of my soul!! Harrharr… Anyway beforehand, Anne Yong and I went out for short briefing on the mission trip, Stacie was able to join bit later, and while we were having lunch at a restaurant, we bumped into Sandy and she joined us in our discussion where Anne asked her to help translate some prayers etc. into malay and following that, she mentioned to Stacie and I that going for missions we have to be open to whom God sends and especially what God wants to give or do in ourselves. I understood what she said but took it lightly and subconsciously thought that there’s nothing much I need to receive, I was keen on my ability to give and help out.

During most of the days in mission trip though I really enjoyed it and had fun, sometimes I would seem ok or happy on the outside but deep inside I felt terribly depressed and heavy, it really brought my whole being down and I felt anger and rejection in my heart. I felt lonely because of the struggle I had to go through alone, feeling no one could understand what I was going through. I asked God again and again why I was feeling this way, for Him to take it away and was really disappointed and ashamed of the weaknesses in me that really surfaced to my knowledge during the trip. Before going for the mission trip, we gathered together for briefing and prayer, as we took turns to pray in a circle, I closed my eyes and saw a shadow-defined heart shape with light seeming to radiate from behind, along the prayers I felt warmth on my forehead and tears couldn't help but flow. I didn’t really understand why the reaction for it was only normal prayers we were having.

During the trip, memories also eventually resurfaced which brought a sense of regret of what could have been done but wasn’t, occasions I didn’t appreciate and hurtful memories. Along the trip I felt useless for not being able to give much and at some point of these feelings bundled up together which gave a lot of pain in my heart I tried to suppress which was really torturing emotionally and spiritually for me. After a while I realised that even before the trip I was already feeling burdened inside firstly because of certain hurts from situations in my family, relationships and other little things along my life that built up feelings of rejection, envy and hurt. In the Divine Office prayers we did with the villagers and with much reflection, it struck me that God was trying to tell me that there was much I was lacking, that inside I still needed a lot of work and healing. His words seemed so alive to me, coming to my sense what Living Word was all about, He didn’t have to talk to me in that booming voice I wanted to hear but He spoke so gently through the Divine Office, Divine Mercy prayers and ultimately through the mass we attended. I noted specially the Gospel on that day, 2 Corinthians12:7-10….Lest I become proud after so many extraordinary revelations, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a true messenger of Satan, 3 times I prayed to the Lord that it leave me, but He answered, “My grace is enough for you; my great strength is revealed in weakness.”…..So I rejoice when I suffer infirmities, humiliations…persecution: all for Christ! For when I am weak, then I am strong. Receiving The Eucharist truly gave me so much peace and joy knowing that He’s always there for me, that my tears couldn’t stop flowing. I felt so renewed.

I was also caught up in my pride subconsciously thinking that I was more worthy in doing God’s work when instead I needed to have humility to be able to admit these weaknesses and I needed to receive help, healing and His graces before I can be able to serve in love. It’s true that no one can give what he does not have. These were the things I was ignorant towards and that I had to fully surrender, He brought it to my attention all what I was oblivious towards. It reminded me that it has been a while I’ve been praying for God to change my heart, called to mind the heart I saw in the beginning, suddenly it made sense to me, in His great love and mercy, He heard my prayers and wanted to change my heart and His shining rays wanting to bring what is hidden to light and thus being able to surrender what’s unknown for cleansing. I’m truly amazed by how much He wants to give us but what we often are unaware of, how much He wants to speak to us but often we are so insensitive towards. There are many weaknesses and struggles faced and I pray that always I can always change to become a better person, if not more Christ-like even in sorrow and hardships, to be able to receive and give humbly.

To Blog or Not To Blog?

"The special challenge before you, is to find ways to ensure that the voice of the Church is not marginalized or silenced in the modern arena of the media. You have a role to play in ensuring that the Gospel is not confined to a strictly private world. No! Jesus Christ must be proclaimed to the whole world; and therefore the Church must enter the great forum of the media with courage and confidence."

-Pope John Paul II-

(quoted from Shouts in the Piazza Blog)

Mass Explained

They say most Catholics don't understand their faith, and quite rightly true. So come this Friday for a comprehensive Mass Explained this Friday, 9th October 2009 at the STM Community Centre at 8.00pm. Please take note, that it is a Eucharistic Celebration nonetheless so please come dressed appropriately. I'm sure most of you know that Fr Simon Labrooy is away on a pilgrimage in London hence the Mass will be presided by Fr Michael Raymond this Friday.

Since Fr Michael Raymond is around for the entire week, he is also presenting the Gospel of Mark on both Wednesday and Thursday nights at 8.00pm at the STM Community Centre. Everyone is welcomed to attend.

Why Do Catholics Don't Evangelize?

We are so blessed by the the presence of Dr. Sherman Kuek, SFO for last Friday’s talk on "Why Catholics don’t Evangalize?”

Just to sum up what he said.
Our silence to proclaim and to dialogue with our friends or neighbours speaks about the level of importance of Christ in our lives, thus the question "Why Catholics Don't Evangelize" reflects our very relationship with Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God.

Want to know more, please go through this insightful article that he has written in the CANNews not too long ago. Click here.